Sometimes, I manage to amuse myself in the early hours before inhaling coffee (thankfully these hours are small in number).
This morning, I was tried to remove kiddo's footstool from in front of the sink but in doing so, dragged it across hubby's foot (ouch! sorry!).
He said, "That's OK. That's why God gave me two feet," pause for comic effect "and one wife."
To which I replied, without missing a beat, "Oh, that wasn't God. It was the Other Guy."