To catch up: our bathroom sink had been really clogged for a while, so on Saturday I finally emptied the cabinet under the sink, pulled it all apart, and voilà, we had functional indoor plumbing again!
... for about 24 hours
... when it started backing up into the tub.
Post-shower yesterday the tub took about 90 minutes to drain, so there was no question we had to find the rest of the blockage. The kitchen sink still drains fine and is getting no backup, so we figured it was just below the tub.
Then while we were trying to clear the clog, we found that the cleanout plug for the main drain line (which is, naturally, located in Kiddo's closet, behind a solid wood dresser) was rusted solid and could not be opened. Then the hot water faucet in the tub would no longer turn off. Faaaaaantastic. After shutting off the hot water supply to the tub, I removed the cartridge to find all the rubber portions degraded and/or completely missing. I tried to fix it using some spare parts I had in my plumbing toolbox, but none were quite right.
By the time we finally gave up and went to bed, there was still an inch or so of water (and detritus) standing in the tub. It was still there this morning. We'll be visiting Home Depot tonight.
The neologism crisitunity was mentioned in the Fear of Flying episode of The Simpsons, see Culturally significant neologisms from The Simpsons. Lisa says, "Look on the bright side, Dad. Did you know that the Chinese use the same word for 'crisis' as they do for 'opportunity'?" Homer replies, "Yes! Cris-atunity." Although The Simpsons Archive spells this portmanteau "cris-atunity", "crisitunity" is more commonly used.